We have no control over what someone else does TO us, but we DO have control over whether or not we are going to allow their offense to trap us and keep us from the destiny God designed for our lives.

When we choose to “take offense” we accept the bait that Satan strategically places before us and we walk directly into his trap!  His trap is always hidden and disguised.

As we “take offense” we focus so much on what has been done to us, on the hurt and anger and the constant replaying of the offense that we do not even realize the trap of bitterness, self-pity, and unforgiveness we walk in.

You may say, “In what ways am I trapped?”

#1 - The trap of offense will keep you from spiritual growth and service.

Just like a trapped animal in an iron cage, an offended person lives and moves, but he/she is unable to make advances toward accomplishing God’s unique plan and purpose for their life.  As prisoners, we become emotionally trapped...trading joy, peace, and confidence for anger, bitterness, and a critical spirit.

Proverbs 4:23 says, “Above everything else, Guard your heart.  For out of “it” flows the issues of life.”  As you well know, our emotions control our actions.  If satan can keep you trapped emotionally, he can then keep you from advancing physically and spiritually.

#2 - Trapped people build thick walls!

Proverbs 18:19 says, “A brother offended is harder to win than a strong city and their contentions are like the bars of a castle.”

This verse tells us that it is easier to conquer an entire walled city than it is to make amends with an offended brother or sister in Christ because their walls are fortified with contentious arguments:

                                    > I have a right to be mad!

                                    > You have no idea what I’ve been through

                                    > When you go through what I’ve been through then we can talk!

                                    > They ruined my life!

                                   > No one will ever hurt me again!  “I” will make sure of that!

Behind these thick walls facts are skewed, information is twisted, and reality is often ignored.  ONLY THOSE who can be trusted to agree with and justify their arguments are trusted inside these walls. 

#3 - Trapped people are blind!

1 John 2:11 says, “He that hates his brother walks in darkness and has no idea where he is going because that darkness has blinded him.”

Behind these fortified walls, truth is not welcome!  The absence of truth brings darkness. Somehow, we are clearly able to see the offenses, faults, and failures of others, but become blind to our very own glaring faults. Offended and trapped people develop extremely critical spirits and soon begin to engage themselves in anger, strife, gossip, and the sowing of seeds of discord.

Blindness keeps us from recognizing the sea of bitterness and unforgiveness that has so engulfed us and separated us from the presence of God.  It is true, my friend, unrepented sin does separate us from God.

#4 - Trapped and Offended people are often idolatrous!

Now, you may be thinking this is a bit harsh, but listen.  A few years back in one of my counseling sessions for a married couple I had a husband say this about his wife: “She cannot remember where she put her keys five minutes ago, but she can recall every detail of an offense committed against her 25 years ago!”  Wow, that really opened my eyes!  And God showed me this...When people allow their painful past resentment and bitterness to replace their present affection and devotion to God, then their state of offense becomes an IDOL!!!

One woman, who was grossly betrayed by her husband was asked, “What would you like to see done to your husband?  To which, she replied, “hell will do!”

Often we cannot or simply will not trust God to take care of our offender as He deems necessary.  Vengeance means more to us than trusting God!  We want our offender to pay and we want them to pay now, according to our terms!

“When the offense means more to you than restoration, it has become an idol in your life!”

In the past weeks, my family has suffered great physical damage at the hands of an unstable, angry soul.  We had every right and every means to seek revenge and cause this person life-altering consequences.  After calming down and praying heavily we decided to leave this war to our God! Not only that, but the precious Holy Spirit has even given me the desire to pray for this person.  I trust God to restore to my family what has been taken.

In closing, Romans 12:18 commands us, “If it be possible, as much as lieth in you, live peaceably with all men."  This is the road we chose and therefore our joy,peace, and favor remain.  Take time this week to clean out the closet of your soul.  Get rid of old offenses that weigh you down and trap you.  Be free!  I say - "Be free to live, love and serve joyfully."

Blessings In Him, 
Jeneen

I encounter offended people everywhere I go: in my daily routine of business, at church, on the news coverage, even in family.  The spirit is demonstrated through the countenance of faces I meet, through the words I hear spoken and the actions displayed.  Fifty-three percent of marriages are being torn apart.  Long-time friendships are tossed away.  Family members haven’t spoken in years.  Churches are divided and seeds of discord are continually sown among the brethren!

I am only forty-one years old, but I must confess that the spirit of offense seems to be at an all-time high in my lifetime.  I went to the Lord about my concerns and He led me to Matthew 24: 3-14.

“And as HE sat upon the Mount of Olives, the disciples came to HIM privately asking, ‘Tell us, when shall these things be? And what shall be the sign of thy coming and of the end of the world?’

And Jesus answered and said unto them, ‘Take heed that no man deceive you.  For many shall come in MY name saying I am the Christ; and shall deceive many.  And you shall hear of wars and rumors of wars; see that you be not troubled.  For all these things must come to pass, but the end is not yet.  

For nation shall rise against nation, and kingdom against kingdom and there will be famines, and pestilences, and earthquakes in different places.  All these things are the beginning of sorrows.  Then, they shall deliver you up to be afflicted and shall kill you; you shall be hated of all nations for MY name’s sake.  And many shall be OFFENDED, and shall betray one another and shall hate one another!   And many false prophets shall arise and deceive many.  Because iniquity shall abound, the love of many shall wax cold.  But, he that shall endure to the end shall be saved and this Gospel of the kingdom shall be preached in all the world for a witness unto all nations.  THEN, the end shall come.”

This caliber of offense being demonstrated in our world today is surely a sign of Christ’s return.  Notice that the scripture does not say, “many shall OFFEND”, but “many shall be OFFENDED.”    You see, there is a huge difference.  The word “offend” is a verb meaning to ‘transgress morally or lawfully causing hurt, difficulty, resentment or pain.'  Jesus said in Luke 17:1 that it is IMPOSSIBLE that offenses will not come.  

It is true that people often offend with motive, but then there are times that we offend without even knowing it.  Example being - I could say something that was never meant to be offensive, but someone might still be offended.  My choice of outfit might offend someone.  My personality might be offensive in some way to another person.  We all have the capacity to offend just simply by being WHO WE ARE!  Jesus was an absolute perfect man, but many were offended by Him.  Offenses will always come.  We are never going to be able to stop nor control them.  However, there is something you and I CAN control and that is the choice whether or not to take offense or be “offended” by anyone or anything.  To be “offended” one must accept “offense”.  There was a time in my life when I accepted offense.  I can honestly say there were people who purposely chose to offend me and I could use the excuse that I had the "right" to be offended, but Jesus began to show me that I wasn’t hurting anyone but myself.

The word “offense” is a noun.  Therefore, it is something we can take hold of.  John Bevere states in his book, The Bait of Satan, that the word “offense” comes from the Greek word “scandalon” which literally means “the bait used to trap a wild animal”.  Offenses come to trap us!  They trap us with hurts, pains and sore attitudes which eventually steal our joy and hinder our relationships with God and others.  The trap of offense will isolate you, alienate you from fellowship and strip you of your purpose.

What offense has left you alienated, stripped of purpose and left for dead?  Is it an offense against someone else?  Maybe it is even that you are offended with yourself?  Perhaps your own choices have left you defeated and feeling like a failure, causing you to actually be offended at YOU.  Lastly, could you admit today that you just might even be offended at God?  Do you feel that HE has somehow let you down or disappointed you in this life?  

What I want to get across to you today is this:  the offense you are harboring is a trap!  It is not hurting anyone else but YOU.  Galatians 5:7-8 says, “You were running so well.  WHO hindered you from obeying the truth?  This persuasion does not come from Him who called you.”  This spirit of offense has come to kill, steal, and destroy you.  It is hindering your progress and suppressing your joy in life.  Choose this day to be free of offense.  Choose this day to forgive...Forgive others!  Forgive yourself!  And ask God to forgive you for the bad attitude you’ve harbored against Him.

Slowly begin to speak these verses of scripture over your life:

“Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a right spirit within me.  Do not cast me away from Your presence and do not take your Holy Spirit from me.  Restore unto me the joy of your salvation and grant me a willing spirit.”   Psalm 51:10-12

May His Richest Blessings Rest Upon You,
Jeneen

Recently however, trouble seemingly came from every side!  One particular day I found myself questioning whether or not the Kohler family was even a “Christian” family anymore.  Has the enemy of your soul ever fired a dart through your mind like that?   Negative thoughts penetrated my mind until I snapped out of it through a much needed phone call from a faithful friend who knows us well...haha.

The consensus in the church for years has been: “If you are a powerful Christian, then you should be spared from conflict or trial.”  Satan wants us to believe that we are experiencing trouble because our lives are not pleasing to God.  I understand that is a legitimate cause for trouble at times because disobedience DOES have it’s consequences, but I am speaking to the woman or man of God today who feels like you have faithfully followed God and you are STILL surrounded by much trouble.  

In my study time alone with God today I came across this passage of scripture once again that was written to us by the Apostle Paul:

"We are troubled on every side, yet not distressed.  We are perplexed, yet not in despair; persecuted, but NOT forsaken.  Cast down, but not destroyed.  Through this suffering, our bodies are “constantly” sharing in the death of Jesus so that the LIFE of Jesus may also be seen in our bodies.”  
2 Corinthians 4:8-10

God granted me new revelation concerning verse 10.  As powerful Christians, we will always be surrounded by trials and sufferings. I now realize that it is the existence of “TROUBLE” that can actually distinguish the POWERFUL from the POWERLESS.  By “overcoming” the trials that others witness us going through, the overcoming power of Jesus is made manifest in our lives unto the world. We should never again ask God why this trouble has come to our household, but rather, ask Him for the wisdom and perseverance to stand and victoriously overcome so that the Power of Jesus can precisely be represented to this lost world! 

If you are a Believer in Jesus Christ, the question is not “Will trouble come because it is sure to.”  The question is: “Will you allow your troubles to be a definition of Christ’s overcoming power at work here in the earth?”

I have confidence in you!

Blessings,

Jeneen

Hard times are all around and the Christian family has not been excluded.  Many are living through the most difficult time they have truly ever experienced.  Sin waxes worse and worse.  The financial realm has produced seemingly unbearable stress, as Christian families try to wade through this economic drought.  Maybe you have suffered the loss of a loved one, the loss of a job, the loss of your home, the loss of your partner or spouse, or have watched as your wayward child follows a path of his own.  You may even feel justified to cry out in desperation, “What’s the use of serving God?  What have we gained by obeying His commands?” as recorded in Malachi 3:14.

For a time, it may appear that the heathen is even more blessed than you, a faithful man or woman of God.  Malachi 3:15 says, “From now on we will say, ‘Blessed are the arrogant; for those who do evil get rich and those who dare God to punish them go free.”  As we glance around this world, everything doesn’t appear just and fair.  Those who have worked so diligently, served so faithfully, and lived a life of humility are finding themselves “seemingly” living beneath the glamour of the riches and carefree life of the heathen.

But, hold on my friend!  Your day is coming!  The day of the heathen will fade as quickly as it arrived, but the life of the faithful will live throughout eternity.  The wisdom of Proverbs tells us, “Above everything else, Guard your heart! For out of it, flows your entire life.  Look straight ahead!  Fix your eyes on what lies ahead(the plan God has destined for your life) and mark out a straight path before you!  Stick to this path, do not get side-tracked.  Keep your feet from following evil. (Proverbs 4:23,26,27)

There is coming a day where justice shall be perfected.  The last part of Malachi chapter 3 is my favorite:  Verse 16-18 says, “Then those who feared the Lord spoke to one another and the Lord listened to what they said.  In His presence, a scroll of remembrance was written to record the names of those who feared Him and loved to think about Him!  And the Lord replied, These shall be Mine!  On the day that I act, they will be my own special treasures.  I will spare them as a father spares an obedient child.

Then, you will once again see the “distinction” between the righteous and the wicked, between those who love Me and those who do not!”

I encourage you today not to allow your faith to fail you.  Continue along the path of obedience and faithfulness as a Child of the Most High.  For the “Day of Distinction” is upon us and I assure you, it will ALL be worth it!

Blessings,

Jeneen

Our lives have purpose!  From the moment we enter this earthly realm, flesh fights for dominance.  We see it in a new-born crying infant who screams for it’s own demands.  It is evident in a toddler who pitches a fit when his requests are simply denied.  In the life of a teenager, it can be described as rebellion, but the course of this battle does not cease as an adult until our lives are fully surrendered to God and His great plan.  Our flesh is the enemy of God...Romans 8:7.  For it continuously declares:  I WANT!!!!  On the other hand, surrender says on a daily basis: I GIVE!!!!  I give you my heart, Lord.  I give you my plans!  I give you my dreams!  I give you my mind complete with all of the thoughts, imaginations, and attitudes I have learned and created.  

In our quest to have our own way in life we can make quite a mess of things.  Often, we have allowed our flesh so much control that it may seem impossible to retract and begin again.  This is one of satan’s greatest delusions.  He wants you to believe that you have failed one too many times...that you have sinned too badly for God to ever forgive you or accept you again as one of His children.  Sometimes, we even feel so far off the path God desired for our life that we cannot see any way to ever walk that path successfully again.  The devil is banking on YOU believing that your road to forgiveness is too heavily paved with failure to ever be erased.

Proverbs 28:13 says, “People who cover their sins will not prosper! But, if they CONFESS and FORSAKE them, they will have mercy.”  In other words, if we deny that we even have a sin or failure issue and choose rather to cover up our lifestyle then we will never prosper.  However, to receive mercy (a second, third, fourth chance) from our Father, all that is required is that we ACKNOWLEDGE our sin and shortcomings and RUN from them!  God requires us to OWN OUR FAILURES and stop making excuses for them.  Two of the strongest spirits at work in the earth today are “the spirit of entitlement and the spirit of blame”.  Everyone feels entitled to the blessed life when they have made few choices to acquire it.  If we can just blame the consequences of our choices on everyone and everything else then we are free to feel justified.  My friend, this is a trap!

Look deep into your own life today.  Accept the advice of Proverbs.  Confess your own sins to God and forsake the road you have traveled.  A blessed and fulfilled life is waiting out there for you!  Stop trying to figure your entire future out TODAY!  The road to happiness is not paved with huge leaps, but with small, consistent and deliberate steps.  Jesus himself even said, “Whoever desires to follow Me must DENY himself and take up his cross DAILY.” (Luke 9:23)

Blessings,

Jeneen

I mentioned to you that in the early part of 2010, God required Steve and I to sell the beautiful dream home we had been allowed to build, complete with two-thirds of it’s possessions and transfer to Dallas, Texas.  At first, this was not an easy thing on my flesh!  I loved our home.  Everywhere you glanced was the character unique to “Kohler” style.  We had spent twenty years accumulating furniture that we loved.  Everything was just perfect and exactly how we liked it!  

Our home was filled with family, friends and ministry 24/7.  We had what others refer to as an open, revolving door.  I can count on one hand the number of other houses our children spent the night at while growing up because our house was “the house.” 

When the time came to sell, a part of me broke as I began to wonder if we would EVER again have another home we loved as much as this one?  Fear spoke trying to abort the instruction of God, “If you sell all your furniture you’ll never acquire this many nice things EVER again.”   But, I heard the voice of my God saying, “If you don’t step out and cross this river, you will never receive what I have for you on the other side.”

 CHANGE…the forbidden word!!!!!

 Most cringe at the mere thought of it.  Others are praying for it, if it occurs on their own terms of course.  But, through the years change has developed a predominant reputation for inconveniencing lives as well as our own self-made schedules and plans.   Few desire change and even when we are FORCED to change, we resist the process and unwillingly endure under a load of stress, anxiety and the desire for what “once was.”  Change is rarely ever welcomed or truly embraced.

However, God has given me a fresh revelation regarding change.  I now view it as the prerequisite to possessing one's Promised Land.  So often, we pray and ask God to take us to higher ground and lead us to the life HE destined for us.  All the while, we limit His plans through our inability to trust and embrace change.  Only when we can truly surrender EVERYTHING to Him will we find ourselves exactly where He desires us to be...The Blessed place...The place He created that is perfect for YOUR gifts, desires, and abilities.  I sit some days and meditate on all the wonderful experiences I would have missed in my life had I chosen not to trust Him!  I want all that He has for me and I now realize that requires embracing change when it comes calling.

Life is very different for me these days.  How refreshing it is!  I absolutely LOVE Texas and the Jeneen I was two years ago no longer exists.  As God promised, ALL THINGS have become new.  I have been filled with an exciting new approach to ministry, fresh revelation, new compassions, and growth I could have never acquired any other way AND I am thrilled to report that God has once again given us the most beautiful, well-suited home.  It is unlike anything we have previously ever desired in a home (even THAT changed) and it is perfect for this season of our lives.  We moved in exactly two years from the very weekend we made our transfer to Texas!  God is such a God of Timing!  After not having our own home and renting for two years, I now walk around in daily amazement at the goodness of God.  (Well, I at least had one week to walk around in it!)  That “timing of God” is sending me to South Africa only one week after getting settled into our new home.  I guess I can look forward to decorating once I return…HaHa.  Ministry is calling and I joyfully accept.

Remember this: Change will reveal where you have truly placed your trust.  Is it in the material possessions you’ve worked so many years to acquire?  Is it in money? Or is it merely in the comfort zone you’ve created for yourself that you’re not willing to step outside of? 

 What change is God requiring of YOU today?

My prayer is that you will not view it with reluctance, but with joy.  Knowing that God will never ask you to make a change if He does not have blessing, spiritual growth and promotion in mind!  If you want these, you MUST walk the winding path of change.  For on the other side is the Blessed Place God has been trying to get you to.  I love all of you with His great love…

Blessings,

Jeneen

Deep into the building process, the Lord spoke again, “You will live in this house for a season and be VERY blessed and then I will require it of you.”  I never fully understood what He meant by this, but as you well know God means what He says and sure enough three and a half years later God required us to sell our beautiful home, complete with all the contents and move quickly to Dallas, Texas. 

I was preaching in South Africa when I received the news from Steve that we would be moving.  The move literally took place in three weeks.  Transferring so quickly, we decided it was best to rent for a year until we could learn more about the Dallas area.  Finding a house to rent wasn’t the easiest thing to do. I remember feeling overwhelmed!  I simply buckled my seatbelt and set out for a new journey with God.

One day while in prayer about a rental house, God said, “What do you want in this house?  Make a list and write it down on paper.”  I seriously had to think for a moment because God had never asked me such a question before.  I quickly retrieved a tablet of paper and began jotting down the desires of my heart in detail.

• 3000 square feet
• brick
• hardwood floors downstairs
• granite countertops
• bonus room
• a swimming pool complete with a fountain flowing into it
• a hot tub
• and a nice yard

I made two trips to Dallas in search of rental property, but with no success.  One Sunday evening my cell phone rang.  It was a pastor I had been privileged to meet while visiting Dallas, but knew little about.  His voice on the other end relayed this message, “We were having a Bible study at the home of a friend tonight and one of the prayer requests was that they needed to rent their beautiful home very quickly and needed everyone to pray that God would grant them wonderful renters.  I am wondering if you and Steve would like to meet us at the property in a few minutes to see if this house might be an option for you?”  “Sure,” I replied with great excitement and a pounding heart.

In less than thirty minutes, we arrived at the house and as you can probably guess, it was complete with every single detail on my list. Needless to say, we put a deposit on the house and I immediately traveled back to Tennessee to meet with United Van Lines about transporting our personal items.  My heart and soul rejoiced with God over faithfully meeting the desires of my heart and I joyfully witnessed to friends and family about God’s goodness. 

On my final drive back to Dallas, the enemy started talking to me.  He said, “You’ve witnessed to everybody that this house has EVERY SINGLE DETAIL that you wrote on your list, but it does not. It doesn’t have the fountain flowing into the pool!  So, I guess God isn’t all that great after all now is He?”  For the first time, I realized satan was exactly right.  In all of my excitement I never even noticed there was not a fountain flowing into the pool.  I felt such condemnation in my soul, not because God didn’t deliver, but because I had witnessed to many about God’s goodness and His attention to every detail and I felt like I had unknowingly misrepresented the situation.

Twelve hours later, I arrived in Dallas and went immediately to the property to place our dog, Maxx, in the fenced back yard.  I walked around to the pool and there before my eyes was the most beautiful fountain flowing out of the hot tub into the pool.  The owner came around the corner and said, “The fountain has been broken for a long time, but we had it repaired for you yesterday.”  I stood there in utter amazement and cried!  GOD DID CARE ABOUT EVERY SINGLE DETAIL!  And furthermore, I did not misrepresent anything whatsoever!

One thing I have learned the past few years is this:  

GOD IS WAITING FOR US TO ASK HIM FOR THE DEEPEST DESIRES OF OUR HEARTS!

Yes, I already know what you’re thinking..."God does not have time to be interested in what you desire. Surely, He must have bigger and more important details to be concerned with?"  That is exactly the mindset of most Christians, but they are wrong!  God owns everything and He is always willing and desirous to bless us if we will only dare to ASK.  

As a mother, I absolutely love to bless the socks off my children and I have come to realize that God feels the exact same way about each one of His children.  I am privileged to lead a victoriously, blessed life in every area due to the faithful teachings of the Holy Spirit.  I am willing to take my heavenly Father at His Word and simply ask.

You might try it sometime????  But, of course, if you just cannot get your tiny thinking wrapped around such a big revelation of truth, that is perfectly fine too.  I’ll just ask for what belongs to you as well...hahaha

To Be Continued next week...

Blessings,
Jeneen

I come from a fantastic line of women in my family who really know how to cook.  My mother taught me to prepare great meals at a very young age...fried pork chops, homemade mashed potatoes, fried corn, macaroni and cheese with REAL Velveeta, and fresh biscuits.  I better stop there.  My mouth is watering already...

 
I sorta pride myself as successor of these great cooks and bakers in my family.  A few years ago, I had a night of setback.  I call this my chicken story.

 
I decided I wanted to bake two whole chickens for supper one night. The rotisserie at Walmart always made them appear so delicious and appealing as I passed by and although I had cooked chicken every possible way in the past, I realized I had never baked a whole chicken myself.    

 
I retrieved a great recipe from the internet and purchased every necessary ingredient.  Diligent to follow every step, I basted the chickens with natural herbs, set the oven to 350 degrees and loaded it with what I was sure to be a family favorite.  

 
My starving family waited in anticipation as the two hour cook-time slowly ticked away.  Everyone’s favorite side dishes were carefully prepared to compliment the great entree'.  After calling everyone to the table and humbly blessing this food, which was sure to fill our stomachs with utter fulfillment, I pulled the perfectly, golden chickens from the oven.  At last, we sat together at the table to partake and to my disappointment the chickens were RAW!  I could not believe my eyes, nor could I understand!  My mind retraced every step I had taken.  I KNEW I followed that recipe to the T... and was so careful to do everything just right.  How could these chickens APPEAR so ready and yet be so NOT READY!  Needless to say, we could not eat the chickens!  Nor, have I attempted to bake another one since.

It was in the early morning hours that my heavenly Father awakened me and spoke.  “Jeneen, I want to teach you something through the chickens.”  I said, “Sure, Father, what?”  He replied, “You know how you did everything you were supposed to do to those chickens to yield a fabulous return?”  I said, “Yes, Lord.”  He continued, “And, to the natural eye, they appeared ready, correct?”  “Yes, Lord.  They sure did.”  “That is how life is at times, my daughter.  You may think it is time for something that you have been praying about for a long time to manifest.  You may have done everything you know to do to bring this new thing about.  The circumstances may even appear as perfect timing, BUT IT’S JUST NOT READY YET!”

Being willing to roll with God’s timing is crucial.  So often in life, we pray about things and cannot understand why they have not come to pass yet.  Frustrated, our circumstances may appear ready and our patience dwindling, but God knows the perfect time to bring things to pass in our lives.  Sometimes, we may think we are ready, when HE KNOWS we are not.  If God did everything we asked Him to do in our own timing, most of us would fall flat on our faces in failure because we were not properly trained nor prepared for the task ahead.

Learn to trust God’s timing.  When He seems late, He isn’t and when your timing seems right...It Isn’t!  God alone is omniscient...the all-knowing, wise One!  He is aware of things we cannot even know or understand and He is following His own carefully constructed plan for your life.

May Psalm 37:5 encourage you today.

 “Commit your way to the Lord, Trust in Him.  And He shall bring it to pass!”

(IN HIS OWN TIMING OF COURSE...HaHa)

Blessings,

Jeneen

I cannot remember at what age the first glimpse of fear settled into my spirit because as a child I can never remember NOT being afraid.  Like most children, I was a happy little girl.  I enjoyed playing outside, running in the cow pasture, climbing the apple trees, fishing, and always hanging with my two brothers.  We loved to venture off into the pasture and melt crayons on the huge boulders lying in the field.  Why, I have no idea?  Except, I remember loving the designs we created as the dripping, melted wax of each color beautifully ran together.

Aside from the happiness that childhood afforded me, a dark cloud hung over my head.  Mornings were glorious, but with each passing hour the approaching of dusk filled my stomach with knots.  With darkness not even a reality yet, the very thought of bedtime made me miserable.  Terrified by night, my compassionate brother, Kelly, became my comfort and safety zone.  Every night I would beg him to allow me to sleep with him.  He was gracious to share his twin bed with me.  Although his graciousness did come with a heavy price tag.  Yes, I had to agree to scratch his back until I counted to one thousand.  I willingly paid that price.  Of course by the time I reached my lofty goal he was already asleep and I was left awake and alone.  His presence was enough to comfort me.

When I was nine years old, our family relocated to Florence, South Carolina.  In hopes of breaking my habit of sleeping with my brother, who was now 13, my mother promised to buy me a brand new bedroom suit if I would agree to sleeping in my own room.  I agreed to the deal and did hold up my end of the bargain, but I was miserable every night.  I can still remember the shades Mom purchased for my room.  They were made of heavy, non-translucent fabric and hung from a roll.  Fear gripped my heart so much that I took push pins and pinned the entire shade to the casing of my window. 

Blankets were the next form of security I adopted.  Every night I would lie very still in my bed with my entire body enveloped beneath the blankets, including my head.  Only my nose was allowed to protrude for breathing purposes.  Childlike innocence allowed me to believe that should an intruder enter my room, I would somehow go unnoticed.    

Married at such a young age, I unknowingly carried this great fear into our relationship.  The first three years of marriage, my husband worked dayshift and because I had someone to sleep with every night, I gave little thought to the fear that still lingered.  Until one day, Steve was switched to night shift and suddenly anxiety filled my mind with questions:  "What am I going to do now?  I live seven hours away from my family.  I have a child to take care of.  Who is going to protect us while Steve is at work?  How will I ever sleep again? Why are you doing this to me, Lord?"

I knew 2 Timothy 1:7 said, "God has not given us a spirit of fear,” but I could not understand why I was still so afraid? 

The first night Steve left for work I thought I would literally die with fear.  With every light left on in the house, I numbly, retreated to my bed.  Once again, the stronghold of fear consumed me.  I wanted to cover my head.  I wanted to pin the blinds.  I lay petrified, but this time something was different.  I had my heavenly Father to turn to.  Humbly, I divulged to Him how scared I really was, requesting Him to cover me and my daughter and bless our eyes with restful sleep.

What happened next has never been forgotten.  It is as vivid today as it was that night in Chicago, twenty-one years ago.  The appointed time had come for the trap of fear to be abolished from my life. My heavenly Father desired to show me WHO I belonged to.  He spoke directly to my troubled heart through a vision as I lay outstretched on my bed.  He showed me my house from the road in which it sat on.  The entire house was covered by the blood of Jesus.   The blood flowed from the roof, dripping downward.  Then, He allowed me to not only see, but to also hear the conversation taking place between satan and his legion of demons in front of my house.  Very clearly and distinctly I heard satan say, "Come on!  We have to go on to the next house. This one is covered by the blood of Jesus."  Discouraged, he and his army retreated in utter disappointment.

That moment changed my life forever.   I would be lying if I said fear never returned to rear it's ugly head again, because it has, but never again has fear had the power to consume my life.  I learned that night that my life and all that belonged to me is protected at all times by my Father in heaven.  Psalm 121:3-4 tell us that "The One who keeps us never sleeps nor slumbers."  2 Chronicles 16:9 became my strength - "The eyes of the Lord run to and fro throughout the whole earth, to show Himself strong on behalf of those whose heart is loyal to Him.”  That scared little girl has now become a mighty warrior and the key to my strength is trust.  Trust, my friend!  God has you and yours in the palm of His hand.  Whatever troubles you this night, talk to your Father about it.  And then, my brother and sister, sleep!  Sleep like a baby surrounded by the One who never sleeps.

"You shall not be afraid of the terror by night, nor of the arrow that flys by day, nor of the pestilence that walks in darkness, nor of the destruction that lays waste at noonday.  A thousand may fall at your side, and ten thousand at your right hand, but it will not come near unto you."  Psalm 91:5-7


Blessings,
Jeneen